Writing this post is not easy; one because there is a world out there who doesn't believe, two because it is a taboo topic people don't want to talk about, and three I practice my faith mostly in Spanish which can be confusing to translate. I want to talk about this because this is a lifestyle blog and I want to give insight on the most important part of my life. I am not writing this to convert anyone or preach, this is my experience and a part of me just like any other post.
With the paradox of madness and beauty that is our world I lean on my faith for answers, for strength, for hope, guidance, for all that I can't understand. I grew up in a devout Catholic home where faith has always been alive, my parents have never been ones to force us into religion and have been respectful towards my siblings and I yet the three of us find ourselves following the same faith.
Being Catholic.
There are many people that have questioned me about my religion seeing that there are many things that have happen in the church. I will not deny it either but the reality of it is that just like any other religion it is made out of humans and news flash humans aren't perfect, therefore the church is not perfect. I am not perfect, I don't think I will ever be; I make errors on the daily basis, I lack on faith at times, I have fallen in dark holes but I get back up and strive to be better everyday. I believe in my forgiving loving God that will guide me there where all is perfect.
How I practice my faith?
Another paradox practicing faith is that its's so easy it's hard, from the smallest thing to the biggest, everything counts and it makes a difference. I have a strong believe that actions speak louder than words and to practice your faith you have to act with it. I am in the youth choir (Surprise, I sing!) that sing Sundays and two Tuesdays a month for worship gathering, I am in a prayer bible study group that I attend on Friday evenings. I attend spiritual retreats every now and then, participating and organizing some. I was a part of the youth ministry for seven years and head coordinator four of them. I share the peace, love and happiness I receive from it.
Blessing and a Curse.
Ever since I have memory people around me have created this image of me based on my association to my faith and religion. As a child I didn't understand or saw much of a difference, but when I started growing up something clicked, there was something off on the way people acted towards me. People, friends and family, avoided certain behaviors or topics around me as if I were to open my mouth I would have excommunicated them. I am an introvert I don't say much anyway, people had put words and thoughts on me before I even had the chance to react. I have been called saint, Jesus freak, nun, all without having to do with context all just because of my faith. On the opposite side I have met some brave souls who have entrusted in me some of their deepest darkest secrets and asked for my support in prayer or advice which I have given. That is all I am to many people, and they don't seem to realize that there is a person behind that is just like anyone else.
People don't want to get to know me which is definitely a challenge to my faith. I will be honest here, it is also a reason I started this blog, for people to get to know all of me. Once you get to know me, all of me, you get to see that there are many more sides to me and I might still be a bit different than normal but that is who I am. I am awkward, dorky, sarcastic, I have a dark sense of humor, and before this starts to sound like an online dating profile the list goes on and on.
Humanity is beautiful.
People seem to expect me to me confrontational with non-believers or people of other religions they get taken a back when I am being respectful & curious about it. I actually happen to find other religions interesting I even consider to major in Religious Studies at one point because I value the importance & necessity of it we as humans have. Religion and faith have taught me the beauty that is humanity; that everyone is equal, everyone deserves love, everyone deserves justice, everyone deserves respect, kindness and that we are all precious in the eyes of God.
In a world like today's it can be heartbreaking to see the injustice, hate, cruelty humanity is living with. In my heart I feel a desire to work for the better of this world, missionary work calls to me. It is something I pray about often to see if it is what I am meant to do and where I should go. As of late I have also been attracted to the idea of activism in social justice and human rights. Ironically my first name means "helper and defender of mankind", coincidence or what. I don't know if i'll end up doing either mean while I do the little I can for both.
Lastly, I wanted to point out the first photo I chose for this post, yes it was because it was seasonal but more so it's a metaphor for my faith. In the end no matter what falls or crumbles in my life my faith is always being reborn and growing, just like the daisy.
Thank you for reading,
( This was first inspired by my friend Marc, by a blog post he wrote a while back which funny enough was the first post of his I came across with. )